every little thing ; .

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

since last friday.

the pain's unbearable.

4 days le..how long would this end..?

walked in the rain yst..despite having fever.. i guess the feeling's good. at least the sky's crying with me.

It hurts me.

7:48 AM
alone?

Monday, September 3, 2007

This is how i feel.. =(

Life's a lot harder when you have to face it alone.

Some people just don't treasure you. Some people just don't value you as much as you value them. Your friendship with them may be worth a million to you, but sometimes to these people it means nothing at all.

yea..u promised me. and i trusted u. but now?

For me, I know it means something to the both of us, but it's difficult for me to carry on because I know that no matter what, the value that I've placed on our friendship will never be equal to that coming from the opposite side.

Are you always the one having to initiate conversations? Are you always the one who asks him/her out? If it has been carrying on for some time now, then perhaps you should think of giving up. Maybe the value you've placed on the friendship is far greater than what they're willing to give.

yea..i guess if i never talk to u..u would never ever talk to me first le. or u dun even give a fucking damn.

It's fine to keep it up once in a while, but when it's a matter of months, it's too tiring to handle.

its hurting when u say one and do the other.
its even more hurting when it isint the first time.
and i have to face it everyday. really

at least fiona's better off than me.
she doesnt have to face hers everyday
but me?
i have to forget ...with u right in front of me
this sucks
and her problem's solved.
cos the other party wasnt as cold hearted as u...
i wish u cared.

But after all that has happened, I'm geting tired. It's not a good feeling to know that you're not being valued as much as you value the other person. And so I've decided to give up, and stop trying to make our friendship work, or even get back to what it used to be. Certain things can't be changed. I've given chances, and these chances are still open, but I'm no longer going to fight anymore.

They tried to help but they didn't see you crawl. They knew you fought but they never thought you'd fall. Hurts inside, no scars to show.

I fight against the hours I cannot go to sleep. I know that if I lay down now inside I know I'll weep. Guess I'm holding on to things that used to be, things that can never be.

You look at me now as always I'm keeping a straight face acting like I'm okay. The place that I long for is where the shadows won't dance on my walls anymore, where the nightmares will leave me alone. Take me to a place where I can disappear, to a place where they cannot find me. I tell them they're wrong, that I am okay, when in truth you don't see the tears that lie behind these eyes of mine.

These friendships that I thought were so real, that I thought could last forever, turned out to be something else. Something that was far from expectations.
At least I didn't have to face them after they left. But now, it's a different thing altogether. I still have a long way to go before your face disappears in front of mine. Before I can erase your part out of my life completely. People who haven't been through this will never understand.

You were the reason that made me stay on, but now you're the very reason why I want to leave...

can u pls initiate a cov. first?

8:24 AM
alone?

Sunday, September 2, 2007

eMo.

its frens tt u can call upon at 4 tt matters

u dun care.

whatever for am i hanging on.

fucked up shit.

i yearn for all this to end.

and the most ironic thing is

its just me.

pretence.

6:29 AM
alone?

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

7:48 AM
alone?

Monday, September 3, 2007

8:24 AM
alone?

Sunday, September 2, 2007

eMo.

its frens tt u can call upon at 4 tt matters

u dun care.

whatever for am i hanging on.

fucked up shit.

i yearn for all this to end.

and the most ironic thing is

its just me.

pretence.

6:29 AM
alone?