every little thing ; .

Friday, December 19, 2008

一年之后的今天, 若我们同坐在一起

那画面会是怎样呢.

6人.
6个过这不同生活的人
1年的时间.

我闭上眼睛.

眼泪笑了.

在世上,最长的距离不是彼此被搁到天涯海角,
而是你在我面前,但那种熟悉已不在了...

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

survivor's gone
bob won - as expected
sugar played the game well - enuf to get to final 3 but not more than tt
susie lucked in at the last immunity
matty lucked out

went back to sl intensive 2008 - and its going to be the last
i feel so freakin old there.
and what used to be an annual gathering for seniors seem meaningless now.
cos apparently, not many seniors left.
and.. i guess the connections' not there anymore.
ppl do change. mayb i did too.

post-A's wasnt meant to be like tt.
sigh.
perhaps now tt studies are aside, our minds start to ponder even more.
and past few day's /weeks' experience tell me tt it's going to be even tougher.
and i feel sort of tired.
i dun wan to be the one putting the pieces together.

it's a wierd thing. mayb studies and sch was a common bond.
and now it's over..it's going to be hard maintaining all these.
sigh.
once again.
regrettable.

5:26 AM
alone?

Sunday, December 7, 2008

HAPPY BDAY HUI LONG! ALL THE BEST IN WHATEVER U DO AND ENJOY UR DAY! HOPE U LIKE UR GIFT =D KEEP IN TOUCH!

THANKS FOR THE PHOTO =D U ROCK!

12:00 AM
alone?

Friday, December 5, 2008

pre-resoluntions for 2009 1

perhaps before the year end, i should have a series of pre resolutions, to look at my life for the past year, and reflect upon it ba. eh..all this may sound a lil emo.. but i guess its part of life, esp during this period where mayb i should spend some time with myself. previous years oni write and keep for myself, mayb this year try something different, mayb post it here ba. nth to hide anyway. also..perhaps i should reflect upon these two years in jc, instead of just jc2.

well just watched survivor and mayb today's episode was surrounded by the themes Love and Paranoia, and tt made me even more emo. ha.

for those who never watch survivor before..it's a really nice reality show..and mayb if i dun give a lil para on what it's all about u'll not understand what im writing about.

basically, survior is a reality show where 18 contestants come to this island(this season is survivor-gabon) and they outwit outplay and outlast each other in order to win a mill bucks. for the elimination of the 1st nine ppl, they will be divided into two tribes and have challenges like reward or immunity. for rewards, they will earn rewards for the tribe, while for immunity, the losing tribe will go to a place called Tribal Council and vote out one memmber of the tribe. this goes on until normally at the last 9, where the two tribes will merge, then, they will play for Individual immunity, where oni an individual wiill be immuned from the voting. additionaly from the 9 left, each of the voted out will be part of the Jury, where they will have the power to vote for who they think deserves the title Sole Survivor, when it comes to the final 3. exciting huh?

eh mayb still not very exciting if u just read this, but those who watch will understand, cos beneath it all we can see the true colours of humans, where they blindside, get into alliance and try to outwit outplay and outlast each other.

however, for the so manny past seasons tt i've watched, its always different alliances, diffeent way of blindside, different kinds of people. but one thing's for sure, love. like for today's episode, the reward for the individual was to enjoy a video clip from their loved ones. when the host said tt, tears were seen on everyone's faces - the evil, the dumb, the gullible, the strong. well i guess tt sorta moved me. and it made me reflect upon my jc life, those who i know, those who i knew, those who i wished i've known earlier, those who i wished i know.

i rmbed still so vividly tt during tt post o level results, whilst we were deciding where to go, i was comtemplating on whether to go to aj, or somewhere better. i eve emoed over it. ppl called me dumb, cos ppl will oni emo over nowhere to go, and not over dunno where to go. so oh well i guess i had my own fears and reasons. and i chose aj in the end.

i guess it was not really hard adapting to aj, cos it was just fully filled with xinminians. oh well looking back, actually the hardest thing for this jc life is not about studies, but over relationship and frenship. (this is for me personally) somethings are meant to be kept inside oneself ba i guess.

compared to sec sch, i guess i've known much fewer ppl in aj compared to xms. well partly due to fact tt i was in council last time. but this time..mayb because frens go different ways, and i feel sorta vulnerable.

and mayb because of this vulnerability, i guess i emoed for the most many times in my life in jc. hais. cancerians have a sentimental life. but all tt made me a stronger me, and one thing's for sure, im really glad i removed tt incident away from my shoulders at the very end. because tt incident really bothered me for quite a while. we started off as total strangers, and perhaps anything more than tt now is considered a great acheivement. hah. bt oh well some say it's just me thinking too much, but there's always a part of it tt i never share and perhaps will never, and the ugly fact of life will always remain as tt. at least u know it urself. ppl who sees it will know.
looking back, it really is amazing how much i've let this thing affected me. teachers coming to me. schlorship at stake.results etc etc. i must've been blind la. but at least now i know?
well mayb when u make a mistake, dun lose the lesson, and for tt i've forged even closer ties with my frens. and for tt im thankful. tt was basically the major part of ard jun2007 til ard aug2008. a major part.

and then because our ties got stronger, i feel so weak now. perhaps 10 years down the road, or even next year when i read this again..how would tt situation be like? because im going to the army, because the girls are leaving for uni, because the boys are going to other platoons..im afraid. mayb im a loser, but im afraid of losing what i got now. it's not tt i got no confidence in the frenship, but im afraid the lack of topics, the lack of time, the lack of the energy will u know..sigh.

call it the transition state, and im really afraid. i'll really really miss u. hL, jy, sy, ger, viv, ht, fiona, nick, obiang, ceph, yilin, char, des, wc, joc, jerm, sam, argh the list is just so long. bt basically almost everyone.
for those in 26, im sure we will meet up, but wat about those from other classes? argh i wont have the courage to ask some out de. sigh.

zz ok i guess survivor really made me become so emotional now ZZZ. im like tearing! ahh. mayb i should continue some other time. when i'm more cooled.

8:10 AM
alone?

Thursday, December 4, 2008

比想象中更痛你真的没回头

i mean every normal human would somehow feel a lil disappointed de ba.
at least. at least photos were taken.
final goodbyes.
well. what more could i say.
a lil disappinted a lil lost.

我命令眼泪不许失控

hais. imul!
and mayb this is really the last time le. i doubt miracles happen two times in a row.
argh. this suck
been long since i emoed. ahhh . sian1/2

回忆不跟你走都挤在我心中
我就有责任让它值得被珍重

juat a lil too late.

我眼泪都笑了谁还想哭呢
再勇敢的站着找回光和热
面对你的时候我不会舍不得
因为你已是过客因为路有些曲折是美的
来不及完美的就唱首骊歌
想起你的时候我不是卑微的
反而我没有遗憾因为我已爱过你深深的

hmm just hope u like tt? promise to cherish it can?
all the best.

2:38 AM
alone?